stolen from icy, because we all need a good laugh!
POSTED AT 04:53 PM

tums

The Dumbest Things You've Ever Heard Anyone Say:

• It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: "Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff"
• In Wowowee, the question was: "Kung ang 'sigaw' ay 'shout' sa Inggles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang 'whisper'?" The contestant answered: "Napkin!"
• While watchng the news yesterday about a kid killed by a bulldozer, our maid commented: "Kaya ayoko mag-alaga ng aso eh"
• My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: "Imagine mo kung di ginawa 'tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?"
• My cousin at a DRIVE-THRU: "Miss, puwedeng take out?"
• Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: "Please watch 'The Life Story of Julie Vega', opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November."
• My friend said: "Ang galing 'no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!"
• A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: "Ma'am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, 'Hesus and Company."
• One classmate in highschool said, "Ang cute naman ng sintas mo, luminou!" I corrected him and said, "luminous!" Then he replied, "Oo nga pala, plural!"
• Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!" Pasahero: "Boss, Cubao?"
• Sa isang gameshow, tinanong ng host: "Anong 'P' ang Tagalog ng 'storey' o 'floor' ng building?" Contestan: "PIP PLOR!"
• Melanie Marquez: "Ang tatay ko lang ang only living legend na buhay pa."

funny, stolen from rai!
POSTED AT 11:03 AM

tums

Dear, Pocholo.

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'LL JOIN THE MONASTERY. I think I realized it WHEN I THREW UP AT THE MENTAL HOSPITAL and I saw you SIT AT DONALD DUCK.

I'm sure you're MIDDLE-CLASS enough to understand THAT THERE IS NO SOLUTION TO THIS.

I'm returning THE CUT TOENAILS to you, but I'll keep THE OIL STOCKS as a memory.

You should also know that I WAS INTERVIEWED BY THE TIMES ABOUT THE APARTMENT BUILDING.

GREETINGS TO YOUR FROG LEONARD,
Isabelle.

HAHAHAHAHAHA :D

___________

Do it like this:
Dear (the person who last texted/smsed you).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.

I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Scarred
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Mongolic
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

summer heat.
POSTED AT 11:14 AM

tums

how smart is it that the pool is being repaired for TWO FREAKING WEEKS during the summer?? the water was drained and theyre fixing the tiles, i think. which means i dont get to cool off by wading in the pool.. :S

and its been EXTREMELY HOT these past few days. like sticky, humid hot. sorta like beach weather. aaaaaah, i cant wait. less than two weeks to go and im all ready. kulang nalang i'll start packing na nga eh haha i completed my bikini/clothes shopping last wednesday with my mom who was on a 'tara, lets go shopping' craze. i even got to sneak in non-beach items, which was gooooooood for meeeee :D

im sad because loi and i are the only ones left in manila everyone's gone! BUT i've heard lots and lots of new chismis about certain people.. haha, ang labo. walang connection. SO friends, come home na so i can make kuwento!! i miss my girls

NEW JERSEY. game, baby?? i love you

POSTED AT 10:11 PM

tums

have any of you ever played the SHUFFLE GAME?? i learned about it from maix and since then, cholo and i have been playing it whenever we feel like it. today's game was HILARIOUS. it literally kept us occupied for like an hour or so, and our questions were the funniest. we were screeching and jumping up and down, yup just like crazy kids. i love down time with you, babe and those crazy, crazy conversations. youre the best haha

favorite questions (and answers!) BY FAR--

• question: will _______ have kids any time soon?
  answer: Scotty doesnt know.
• question: will our bora budget be enough?
  answer: Low. haha, ibig sabihin -- DAGDAGAN.
• question: will _______ ever pay back _______?
  answer: Oo. as in literally, the song title was 'Oo'. how cool is that? hahahaha. so sure na sure siguro yun

FUN DAY. we also entertained ourselves by watching Step Up and Cheaper By The Dozen on video. uhh... bored much? and in betweens were filled with stuffing our faces with dessert, rice, and every fattening thing you can think of. summer = love.

stolen from ruth
POSTED AT 07:22 PM

tums

I LOVED READING THIS!!!! :D this is exactly what every girl deserves, and how she should be treated by her man.

i highlighted those that cholo does haha. i loooove you baby.

enjoy


When she walks away from you mad
(follow her... )

When she stares at your mouth
(smile...then kiss her... )

When she pushes you or hits you
(hug her tight )

When she starts cursing at you
(say i love you )

When she's quiet
(hold her hand and ask what's wrong )

When she ignores you
(act cute so she'll notice you )

When she pulls away
(pull her back )

When you see her at her worst
(tell her you love her and she still looks amazing )

When you see her start crying
(hold her...ask her what's wrong )

When you see her walking
(approach her...give a kiss on the cheek )

When she's scared
(assure her you're not going to leave her )

When she lays her head on your shoulder
(tilt your head too...and hold her hand )

When she steals your favorite hat
(let her keep it )

When she teases you
(tease her back and make her laugh )

When she doesn't answer for a long time
(reassure her that everything is okay )

When she looks at you with doubt
(back yourself up without lying)

When she says that she loves you
(she really does more than you could understand )

When she grabs at your hands
(hold hers and play with her fingers )

When she bumps into you
(bump into her back and make her laugh )

When she tells you a secret
(keep it safe and untold )

When she looks at you in your eyes
(don't look away until she does )

When she misses you
(she's hurting inside )

When you break her heart
(the pain never really goes away )

When she says its over
(she still wants you to be hers )

When she reposts this
(she wants you to read it )



- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is: "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

stolen from ruth again
POSTED AT 07:48 PM

tums

10 things that make me happy
[Top-of-the-head answers]

 

10) chick flicks. i love the romantic comedy type movies that leave you wistful and giddy and just plain happy. that make you hopeful about love, life, and the future. no heavy, thinking-required movies for this girl!

9) parlor and spa days. what girl doesnt love getting her nails done, having her hair styled and treated, etc? even the pain of waxing cant diminish the high i get from going to the salon haha.

8) shopping. i love clothes and shoes, but most of all i love bags. bags are my addiction. i predict that once i start earning, 60% of it will go straight to shopping. okay, i will try to avoid that.

7) really nice pictures that i took, or that are taken of me.

6) going on road trips, traveling, experiencing and seeing new places.

5) take-my-breath-away moments. once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

4) chocolate japanese cakes, amici sausages, mcdonalds fries, heaven and eggs philly cheese steak, teriyaki boy gyu asupara maki, tgi fridays chicken fingers, burger king sundae pies, strawberry fruit tella, grape bubble tape, oishi pillows, ac siomai, taho, selecta cookies and cream, chuckie, pancake house pan chicken, velveeta cheese, sugi tempura, sbarro baked ziti, chili's mozzarella sticks, guylian chocolates, mann hann sweet and sour pork, mingoys salpicao, blue bunny ice cream sandwiches, quickly choco loco with chocolate pudding, two seasons pepperoni pizza, puka grande garlic buttered prawns,  jonah's mango milk shake, boracay chori burgers, tita cynthia's lasagna.

damn. now im hungry. 

3) dancing. everything about it, from choreography, to learning new skills, to that endorphin high you get, to amazing costumes/uniforms, to choreographers that challenge me, and even to the bumps and bruises. my number one passion in life is dancing. i love how i can go through the crappiest day and just lose myself in two-three hours of dancing.

2) my family, barkada and friends. im so blessed to have the best people in my life. sure there are tough days but overall, i feel looooooved.

1) hello, baby you make me happy. even if you SOMETIMES drive me nuts with your claims that im masungit, with how you go into guy-mode and tease me to the point that im already pikon, and when youre on jealous boyfriend mode. despite all that, i love you for the little things like how you give me the first bite of every meal, how you never want me to carry anything, even the smallest bag, how you make sure im taken care of when we're not together, how you patiently wait for me when i take long, how you baby talk with me and make pacute, and how you make tampo when i forget a monthsary. i could go on and on but you know all this already i love you!

im on break.
POSTED AT 08:31 AM

tums

i feel so useless, since sunday i have stayed home EVERY SINGLE DAY.

yes, i am on summer break. haha.

i start work for wyeth on may 5, so im definitely enjoying my last few days of  couch potato, uploading frenzy, buhay baboy mode.

im already on day 5 of bora pictures!! 4 more albums to go goodluck karl hahaha, day 3 palang!

was watching will and grace yesterday and in the episode, leo (grace's husband) who's a doctor came home from guatemala. and he showed grace a photo album full of grace's pictures.. with her eyes closed in every picture. when she asked why, he said he took pictures of her sleeping so that when he was far away, he could imagine her sleeping right next to him.

AWWWWWWWWW 

sweetness loooooooove

bora entry coming soon. when im not tamad to recount each day's happenings haha 

hey beybey
POSTED AT 08:12 PM

tums

today was just so happy in the most relaxed way.

started the day off with our cardinal santos field trip, where i had my wyeth-required xray done. then we went to greenhills and just walked around. then we had lunch at home, looked at all 2000+ of the boracay pictures, and you tube-d ourselves to death. then we just spent quality time together, talked, laughed and of course, ate.

i know that not everyday can be a good one, but its days like these that make up for the not-so-good days. thanks babe laughing with you over the most random, inane things was the highlight of my buhay baboy week. 

boys, do this to/for your girlfriends!!
POSTED AT 08:54 PM

tums

(guess which ones are done to me!)

for posterity.
POSTED AT 06:21 PM

tums

yes, im done posting bora 2008 pictures from my camera. FINALLY. i promised a journal entry though, so here it is

(PARADISE.)

signs of aging.
POSTED AT 11:07 PM

tums

today i felt just how old we're getting.

fixed the last of my wyeth work requirements today, and yes im really starting in a week. holy crap. im so excited to dress up but im so hoping i have people my age there. and im not really excited for the early wake-ups, and the trips to makati (parang im not sanay pa noh haha), and the late afternoons/nights.

BUT we must all grow up. so, yeay me for landing wyeth haha.

cholo had another job interview today and i was going crazy texting him the answers to the two essay questions he had to fill out. take note: ESSAY questions yun. so, lets torture ourselves by TEXTING the answers?? haha and he was double checking with me about whether or not the terms of his contract would be okay, etc etc. CONTRACT. ohmygod. there's maturity right there. then im guessing we'll have to go get tin numbers and stuff like that soon. SHIIIIIIIIIT.

as i said, today i felt just how old we're getting. uhm, can we just relive the good old freshman-sophomore college years again? or better yet, HIGH SCHOOL???